For this month's completely not an April Fool's Day Post, we've got a real special treat. This post is gonna review some Technically Bread Items. And AND this is the earliest ever bread post. Can you believe it. Bread post on the first of the month. I told you all this could happen. You didn't believe me, and now this is the result. A post about croutons (technically bread). I hope you're happy. Actually, no I don't. I hope you're sad. There, I said it.
Anyway, these croutons here, mmmhmm these are- oh Yes, they are nice. They got real Jagged Edges and they taste like Crunch. They're the only living item in the history of the world to taste like Crunch. No, I don't mean that chocolate bar. I mean the Adjective. Just like what Broth is. Let me, just let me read off some of the ingredients to these here croutons, okay. "Enriched Wheat Flour." That's right folks, ENRICHED. This isn't your average everyday wheat flour, this crap is ENRICHED (Also this wheat flour makes this a bread product you cretin). Next, in some parentheses after the whole Enriched Wheat Flour Thing: Wheat Flour (wow), Malted Barley Flour, Niacin, Ferrous Sulfate, Thiamine Mononitrate, Riboflavin, Folic Acid. Apparently, that's what makes Wheat Flour Enriched. Freaking Ferrous Sulfate. Can you believe that. That's freaking iron sulfate guys. Iron TWO sulfate. FeSO4!!!! CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS. When you eat these croutons you're eating metal.
Let's get on to how these dang ol' croutons look. They're brown. Just like bread. They're like a lightish brown; kind of appetizing looking, I guess. This particular brand of croutons is actually Freaking Huge. Like you put three of these bad boys in your salad and they take up more room than the lettuce. It's kind of ridiculous. Like, yeah that's cool I guess. But, honestly, I'd rather have more, smaller croutons than just a couple massive ones. I mean, let's be honest here, no one wants another Huge Reba Incident.
Overall bread rating: 9/10
Thanks.
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