Oh now well ain't this a surprise. Another late-month post about bread. What next? A surprising amount of hyperbole? Yes.
Anyway, this bread comes from everyone's favorite fastish food restaurant that starts with P. Panera Bread. This is their self-titled "French Baguette" bread that usually comes on the side with a soup or something. Is this bread French? Heck no probably not. Does this bread have anything to do with France? Gosh I don't know, but probably not again. This is Bread, and its nationality is a mystery.
Let's talk about the texture of this bread for a second. They might as well be calling this the "French Boulder" because that's how it feels to bite into one of these babies. Sure, they taste great, very bread-like, but once I get over the fact that my teeth have shattered trying to bite into this thing I tend to forget the taste. These baguettes are Tough. These are Tough Dang Baguettes. These baguettes have body armor, and You Can't Eat Body Armor.
These are really good though. They are great to dip into a Classic Soup Or Chowder. And! They don't get soggy! That's because they're made of steel. I really enjoy eating these breads and also denting my drywall with them. Accidentally drop one of these on the ground? Better hope that's carpet down there or you better get somebody to come replace the tile.
Now listen, I don't have all the answers. But if someone going down the interstate threw one of these out their window, it could cause severe injury or death. You'd need a whole new branch of personal injury lawyers. Bread Contusion Lawyers. You could get a concussion from these things!!!! Also, they're only like 180 calories.
Overall Bread Rating: 9.9003/10
Thanks.
