Wonder Bread, Classic Hot Dog Buns

Holy CRAP everyone holy CRAP it's that time already. This month feels shorter than normal Oh Wait It Is. Anyway, this is a special, leap-day bread post. And to celebrate this special occasion, I have picked a super special awesome bread to review. By super special awesome bread, I of course mean the Most Stereotypically Mediocre Bread There Ever Was. This is the Wonder Bread Classic Hot Dog Bun. This bread is absolutely nothing special. There is not a single thing to be excited about when it comes to this bread. Can it hold hot dogs? Yeah, sure. Do you want it to hold a hot dog, though? Not especially. Almost any bread can be coupled with a hot dog. Just because these particular breads are designated as "Hot Dog Eligible" doesn't mean you are obligated by that rule. Like who cares. These are buns. So What.

Picture this scenario: You're invited to a barbecue by an acquaintance of yours. You don't particularly like this person, but you also don't want to be rude. You begrudgingly accept the invitation to go to the barbecue at noon on Saturday. Freaking Noon. You're whole weekend is shot and it's only Wednesday. Saturday rolls around and you pull up to their house at 11:33am. Your anxiety prevents you from arriving anywhere without being at least 20 minutes early. You sit in your car for a few minutes before walking to the house because you don't want to seem like you're super excited to go to this freaking lame barbecue. It's 11:51 and you decide to walk up to the door. As you walk up you smell food. You think to yourself, "yeah, that's a food smell." You knock on the door and are greeted happily. Upon entering the house you see three massive bowls of pasta salad. You don't even like pasta salad that much. Why the crap is there so much pasta salad? Who is this for? Next to that bowls, however, you notice something else. Something Sinister. It's A Bag Of Wonder Bread Classic Hot Dog Buns. As you see these buns you know in your heart that this barbecue will not be something you're going to enjoy.

Anyway, these buns are nothing special. They taste exactly how you'd expect. Like buns. If Bun was a taste these would taste like that. Now, listen to this: These buns have 130 calories. 130 Calories Per Bun, everybody. That's too many. That's too many calories and too many buns. There is 1.6 milligrams of iron in each bun, and 130 calories per. Ridiculous. How could Wonder Bread stoop so low as to offer a 130 calorie, 1.6 milligram iron hot dog bun option? Who approved this? Doug Wonder, CEO of Wonder Bread? No one knows. There is also folic acid in this.

To recap, this bread is nothing special. Sure, if you want a cheap hot dog bun to put hot dogs on, you could buy this. You could also buy a forklift. Sure, they're dramatically more expensive, but you're worth it. Treat yourself. A forklift is sixty times better than this bread. But it's not like this bread bun tastes bad or anything, it just tastes average. It's the average bun. Nothing special. Wonder Bread more like Blunder Bread Am I Right L

Overall bread rating: 9/10

Thanks.